Saturday, December 6, 2008

A Little Fear Goes a Long Way

I was feeling a little “all-over-the-place” this morning, incapable of screening out any distractions, so I made the mistake of looking up ADD/ADHD to check out the signs. Then I wrote a long blog about it and decided it was too depressing to post. Argghhh! I don’t want to fall into any traps that stink of self-diagnosis, but... there were some scary corollaries!

I put my coat on and found the nearest hill to climb, dragging the dog up with me (actually, it was the other way around). Usually, vistas of Mt. Tam and other sights are free for the viewing, but today, it’s been pea soup and cold... for here. I don’t want to belittle the weather in this pocket of the world, but earlier this morning, it was chill-lee! After my march up the hill, however, the body warmed up. I have to back up a few years to remember that never, especially on a cold, early, foggy, Saturday (or any) morning, could someone have persuaded me to haul my butt up some hill (that I would have identified as a mountain), much less prompt my own self to do such a thing. So, I’m definitely longer on motivation these days.

What eventually triggers some folks to change their lifestyles? In the blogs I read and often, (not always!) in my own clients’ lives, bigger numbers of people are dramatically altering the way in which they “do” life. I’m not a psychologist, but I’m getting to know myself well enough to realize that part of what has been driving my ass all these years is fear. I discuss this idea a lot in the book. After a little over 11 years of maintenance, the panicky feeling I get when I think of gaining back all my weight scares the #^*! outta me. Even after 11 years. That is one big reason why I was moved to write about my experience: I am still absolutely terrified of putting all those pounds back on my body, even though I have so many deterrents in place. My friends, family -- even trainers who have known me for years all assure me that the new habits are “in place.” I beg to disagree with them, because frankly, none of them has ever had an eating problem severe enough to lead them down the path to morbid obesity. Even though a few of them remember what I looked like in 1996. Fear is still my good friend for the time being.


Lori said...

I think the fear is okay to have. If you don't fear gaining back the weight, then you aren't paying attention, and that is what leads to weight gain.

11 years is an amazing achievement!

Sandrelle said...

Miche, CONGRATS on your book being published!!! That is just so awesome. 11 years keeping it off is amazing!!! I'm gonna order it this week. I love the photo you picked for the cover. I'm going (indoor) climbing for the first time with a co-worker of mine who is a great climber. I can't wait to go next week!!

On the fear of gaining back the weight...for me it ebbs and flows like most things in life. Some days I look at my thighs and think they are huge and have to measure them to be sure I didn't gain all the weight back over night. Other days I feel so confident there's no doubt in my mind that I have all the tools to never regain the weight.

I am so pround of you, you rock!!


LastJourneyDown said...

Thank you Sandrelle and Lori! What awesome comments - I feel so mucho better today - I don't know what got into me yesterday, but sometimes, the panic drives me - Thanks again xoMiche

Mara said...

I cannot wait to read your book! How exciting. I also tagged you for a meme, please stop by my blog at http://, for the rules.


bbubblyb said...

I so know what you mean about the fear. Over Thanksgiving I had some episodes of eating out of control and it scared me back on track. I thought after 16 months shouldn't I be better? Well you telling me after 11 you still have the fear confirms to me again that this is life long.

Like Sandrelle says though hopefully it will just be something that happens once in awhile. Thanks for this post it does help to know I can make it to 11 yrs if I just keep doing what I've been doing.

A mountain climb on a cold morning, that's dedication *smile*

Jen's Journey said...

I have the fear sometimes as well. I think it is normal. As Lori said it says that you are paying attention and that is not a bad thing - it keeps you focused and on track.

I will have to order your book when we move back to the US! Cannot wait to read it - what an amazing accomplishment and think about how many people you will bless by your journey!

Keep going strong!!