While I haven’t specifically written about the guilt I’ve felt over being sick and the concurrent “comfort food” eating, it’s been there big-time. I've been at war with my inner food addict and it's been a hell of a week. It’s time to haul my butt up (“take it slow,” my doc says) and out of the house and start moving and shaking again. I’ve had a food breakdown directly related to... well... basically being stuck in the house with a kitchen full of food that, of course, I was plenty able to ingest. I chose to eat (wrong foods) over the fact(s) that I let my clients down before an important holiday for them (and me). I felt as if I put extra pressure on my husband and my own kids by not being able to pick their kids up from school (which I try to do at least once a week). I harvested guilt over “abandoning” Samantha this week, with sub-par doggie adventure walks. I could have written a new tome using my anxious madcap notions.
Each day, I felt worse and worse, with both mind and body wreaking havoc on my psyche. Out of control? You bet. Each day that I spent planting new and fantastic “guilt” seeds, so my body grew in direct proportion to the inner (and) harebrained fictions. There is a path worn through the bedroom carpet and cold pavers to the fridge and back. Ouch. The number on the scale on Friday didn’t even affect me. I am numb again - bad sign. As I’m really, finally feeling better this morning, I’ve devised a plan.
Numbah one: A-hunting I will go—to the Farmer’s Market, on a search for Thanksgiving fruits and veggies. We have eight healthy-minded folks coming on Thursday and I’ve planned a menu rich in flavor, but low on the fats.
Numbah two: Cooking homemade turkey broth this afternoon. Easy, as it simmers for over four hours. Picked up several pounds of raw turkey “offal” yesterday at Whole Paycheck. And I didn’t even get into it last night.
Numbah three: Cooking two batches of cornbread (this is the most dangerous part) to be left out to get stale. Just those words conjure up some feelings. Maybe I won’t do that; instead, I could buy some old cornbread on Wednesday. My granddaughters will be here spending the night. Yeah... I’ll purchase it then and challenge them to ways of getting that cornbread in a state of staleness!
Numbah four: Last, but not least, did not get doggie bathed and groomed yesterday, so, getting her done is huge on the “today” list, maybe while the stock’s simmering.
Feel better already. I also just wrote out my own food plan for the day. Now, time to get to the Farmer’s Market. I need to be a part of the world again. Usually, I make better choices, but without my usual lifelines, I’m still prone to fall into my food addictive patterns soooo easily. Bummer. Really! It's just so easy.
Dr. Appointment and Input on Maintenance
4 days ago