Wanted to pull out my hair, er... guitar out yesterday, as I was going just batty with the cabin fever, but whenever I do the guitar thing, gotta sing and that was definitely not on the menu. So... even though I did get that dog walk around the block, thanks to a very thoughtful friend (also with a dog), who knew I wanted a bit of exercise, I haven’t gotten in a good workout for several days and the body screams. Last night, I must admit, I had almost a pint of organic burnt apricot ice cream, damn! (It was very good... unfortunately...) There are so many non-fat alternatives, but this just felt so damned good going down, soothing the war-torn throat. When am I gonna be able to work those cals. off? Not gonna punish myself today.
I’m ready to leave this place for half the a.m. and half the p.m. today. Even though I’m still opting out of work so my clients don’t get this nasty stuff, I’ve decided to wear a mask over my face—no, a scarf—and run down to Macy’s this morning, which has a huge sale until 1 p.m. Then home to recuperate and finally, as it’s Wednesday, pick up Cam at her school in West Marin. A day that’s a bit more active, but a test to see how soon the exhaustion factor kicks in. Yesterday, tired just walking around the block. I really should take a look at that and comprehend that I spent three-quarters of my life struggling to make it around the block and then collapsed for the remainder of the day as a norm. To know that when I feel better, I can do so much more is such a great gift. I look forward to my first good workout again—maybe a day or two? Small steps to bigger things. I have a great deal more patience than I used to (did I actually write that!) and know that my health will be in the pink shortly. If I don’t lose weight this week, I don’t think I’ll be as reactive as I was last week, because there is a reason: a cause and effect. I can live with that.